No more birthdays for me dang it…

No this post is not about the fact that I feel old…so very, very old after my birthday yesterday.  It’s about how my birthdays are just catastrophes. Now, I’m not talking about parties not going as planned or not getting gifts that I like or even people forgetting, no.  They are soooo bad it’s funny.  In hindsight, that is.

I am an all around hearty person, except for my own personal kryptonite which is food related.  Sometimes food and I get sideways and I have to eat SUPER BLAND for a few weeks to get back on friendly terms with the stuff.  But because I love food, this is almost like saying I quit breathing until my lungs heal. 

Anyway, I had an attack of kryptonite poisoning half way through the day and had to hurry home to curl up in a fetal position until it resolved itself.  My sweet 5 year old and the babysitter brought me hot mint tea to calm my stomach (I so rarely get pampered that this just melted my heart).  Great birthday so far, right? 

Well, I always keep my iphone in reach—which I’m addicted to it at this point.  I’m sure all you plotters can see where I’m steering the story at this point.  Hot tea, iphone nearby, house full of small children and a sick not-paying-much-attention mom….Oh yeah, all this equals one minty, marinated iphone. 

Oh, but that’s not all, oh no.  My new quilt also was covered in tea and needed to be washed.  

My new chocolate brown low sheen, silky quilt came out of the washer covered in something that looked like that paste on a stick from kindergarten.  You remember that stuff with the wonky smell. OHMYGOSHYOUHAVEGOTTOBEKIDDINGME.

I know all this might sound sad, but I think if it was caught on film it would look much more like Cinnamon slips on a banana, pours tea on her head, and falls in a bucket.  Come on—it’s 100% Three Stooges.

Anyway, I’m going to try to remember only the lovely card my husband gave me about how I do so much for everyone and how he couldn’t live without me.  (He also sent me some gorgeous flowers that arrived after I went home sick, of course—but he still gets big hubbie points this year). And, I will probably frame a couple off the pile of homemade cards from my kids. Otherwise, I think I will file this day under my birthdays SERIOUSLY BLOW and forget it ever happened.